Oddly, I find myself feeling envious towards people who had the courage to speak up. Although it's just on Facebook, but still I never had the courage to pen down exactly what I felt. Even if I did, I'd probably remove it few moments later.
Facebook has indeed rooted itself deeply in our life, especially Malaysians. Every now and then we see (or stalk) people updating their Facebook status like it is a personal place for them to actually speak out their feelings. I, on the other hand, lacks the courage to do so because I'm painfully aware of the people that could have read it.
There are those who openly write about their dissatisfaction towards certain friend/acquaintance of theirs without regards that the subject of their rant could read that particular post. Or people that openly says, "I want to find a new job" on their Facebook or Live Messenger status without fear of their superiors reading that message. Well, maybe they did not add any colleagues into their friend list or perhaps they have already set permission security to hide the status from relevant parties.
Despite all this, I still find myself feeling envious of their courage to speak. Therefore, this particular reason have ruled out the Facebook as my choice to rant my feelings. That leaves me with this blog. However, this blog has almost no permission settings. At least no customized ones. Either all reads it or I allow people with my permission to read it. My constant worry of offending people or hurting peoples' feelings also act as a censorship board. So even in this blog, I still withheld a lot of my true feelings. With this, I wonder if I would ever speak out all that I think or feel?
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